I bet you guys hear about how Disney buy Star Wars. How they get so much money they can buy galaxy far, far away? I know Big Mouse is super rich, but buy entire whole galaxy? Now Vlad seen it all! Anyway, now they own Star Wars, maybe soon we get re-release of lost classic. You hear of how original Star Wars they now call Episode 4, and The Empire Strikes Back is call Episode 5, and all that? Well, is also episode four and half! This one they call the Star Wars Holiday Special, is shown on television once and no re-release. Vlad not understand why; that one so good, should have won Academy Award.
Here how story go. Han Solo and Chewbacca want go Kazook planet for see Chewbacca family for Life Day. But Evil Empire guys do blockade. We see Chewbacca family, Malla is mama wookee, Lumpy is child wookiee, Itchy is old guy wookiee. They grunt at each other for over fifteen minutes. Are no subtitles, because audience to infer everything from the acting. Somebody went to film school, hee hee! They have little acrobat guys watch by Lumpy. At first Vlad wonder how they get acrobat guys that small, then figure out! What they do is record scene of acrobat guys in front of blue screen, then producer guy has machine that take away blue, then can superimpose image! After that, audience see it, and look, there are little three inch acrobat guys!
Then we see trading post. There is mean looking Imperial guy there. Back and forth view between merchandise and mean Imperial guy is Socialist realism symbolism, meaning is about ills of capitalism leading to oppression. Anyway, mean Imperial guy is a chuj and walk off with groomer thing, which is like bastard child of iPad and shaving kit.
Then come best part of Holiday Special — we have Harvey Korman play Gormaanda, intergalactic chef. If you not familiar with Harvey Korman, most famous role of him is dictaphone bird in Flintstones. Anyway, Malla try follow along, and we see mesmerizing culinary performance. Stir, whip, stir, whip, whip, whip stir! Gormaanda deploy extra arms, and now Malla not able keep up. Is symbolism of dichotomy of thought and action. Is fascinating, nothing else quite like it in all of science fiction film, no director been able to something like that do since then. Let us remember, guy who do Star Wars stuff is visionary genius, same guy who came up with inventive lead lined refrigerator as mini nuclear shelter in latest film of Indiana Jones.
Then trading post guy come to house. Not mean Imperial guy, Vlad mean other guy who sell crap at trading post. He have goodies for distribute; must be stuff he not could get rid of in clearance sale. Thing is, Life Day similar to Christmas, is brilliant symbolism there. Malla get holo player thingy. Lumpy get transmitter thingy. (Must be from Heathkit, because is one you put together. Later, he watch instructional film of how put together, but instruction done by robot that run out of battery in middle of instruction. Vlad wonder, why not someone give acting robot fresh battery so can continue and finish scene? Anywhooo…) Then trading post guy give Itchy thingy for “mind evaporator”, turns out is like pr0n. This was done in ’70s, so they all clever for predict that in future, people use computer for look at pr0n. Then you see Itchy get all happy in middle of living room. Maybe this habit is why he so itchy in first place?
Then thing start get real interesting, but Vlad not want spoil plot of such brilliant film. You must see for yourself. Hint, you see guy at bar drink beer through top of head! How clever is that? Vlad watch over and over again in slow motion but cannot figure out how, is too bad, would be excellent party trick. Big Mouse, come give us Holiday Special on blue rays soon!
Anyway, Holiday Special is really great, and because is such a tough act to follow, is better than Empire Strikes Back. The mise-en-scène thing is all super duper. (At least Vlad say so, sound like what film critic should say, hee hee! One day Vlad go visit old junior high school, and happen to meet famous director, and ask him, what does it mean “mise-en-scène“. But director was too busy trying pick up girls there. Silly director guy; girls all suczky at that school, Vlad remember well!) Indeed, only way they could improve Holiday Special is if JarJar is in it. Maybe they can do fancy computer superimpose thing for put in JarJar. Yes, that change plot, but if they can change plot such that Han not shoot first at Greedo, why heck not add more JarJar?